We’ve all had some interesting dates in our lifetime; some good, some bad. Since the online dating post, “Online Dating Terrible First Dates” more people have been open about their stories. Naturally, I asked if I could share their unfortunate events on this blog and thankfully they agreed.
Let’s check them out, shall we?
April’s Story: Sleeping Beauty
I’ve gone out with this guy a couple of times and he’s a nice guy, but I’m still just trying to figure it out. On a Saturday, I was out with some of my girlfriends and he started texting me to come see him at a place in Uptown. My friends and I didn’t have plans so we decided to go meet him and his friends.
When we got there it was completely fine and was a good time getting to know his friends. My friend was ready to head back to our apartment, but I was still fine with staying out with him and his friends for awhile. Well, this guy wanted us to go back to my place. Well that wasn’t going to happen, but I said we could go grab a drink at Cowboy Jack’s near my place.
Once we got to Cowboy Jack’s, I was starting to look forward to getting to talk with him and actually get to know him more. Then I could see if I wanted to move this forward or not. So as we sit at the table with a drink and a late dinner, I start asking him basic questions. Turns out he doesn’t really listen to music, he’s more of a talk radio kind of guy, but will listen to metal when he works out to get pumped up. Nothing wrong with that at all, but we have very different music taste. As I kept trying to hold a normal conversation, he just kept trying to kiss me or divert the conversation to something else.
After awhile of trying to hold a conversation and having it fall flat every time, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Once I came back to the table, I find him face down sleeping on top of the table! WTH?! I leave for five minutes and I come back and he’s snoozin’. Before waking him up, I took a quick pic to document this moment in time. The date where the guy fell asleep.
I smack him on the shoulder to wake him up. He startles awake, looks at me and I told him that he fell asleep in an annoyed voice. Then how does he respond? He says, ” Well I needed a little nap.” To make matters worse, a security guard at the bar comes up to us and tells us we have to go because they caught him sleeping. Well, I’ve got to say this experience on a date was a first.
Jessie’s Story: Better as Friends
I had been away from the dating scene for awhile after my long term relationship ended, but started to feel like I wanted to see what else was out there so I downloaded Bumble. I ended up meeting this guy and we decided to meet up for the first time. Although it took quite a bit of rescheduling to actually make a date work. Finally, we met up at the Lowery.
First of all, he knows how to work the angles of a camera because he didn’t quite look the same in person as he did on his profile. More importantly, he was a little socially awkward and had me lead the whole conversation. I’m fine with leading a conversation, but come on try to ask me at least one question. I was trying to be social and just get him to talk a bit, but instead he just kind of sat there and answered me with one word answers.
Then out of nowhere…probably because I was the one just rambling on, but I say, “I just don’t think dating is my thing.” In a way that comment made him more comfortable, or something, because then the conversation moved to how we would be friends. He even said, “Yeah we can just have this be a one and done.” We had a lovely dinner and it felt very freeing to be honest with each other about our feelings.
We went back to my place after dinner so he could drop me off and we hugged good night. I even gave him one of those pats on the back you do to your cousin or maybe a neighbor. Once I got inside my door I got a text from him saying that he had such a great time and couldn’t wait to see me again. Staring at the phone with a twisted face of confusion, “I thought this was a one and done?”
Mandy’s Story: Staring Contest
A couple of years ago, my best friend wanted to set me up with this guy. She told me that she thought I’d like him because he’s cute and we had a lot in common. So of course, I agreed to meet up with him.
I get to Barrio in Edina, sit down for dinner and realize fairly quickly that we do NOT have anything in common. Sure, my friend was right about him being cute, but was so incredibly wrong about our compatibility. Anyway, that’s not even the worst of it. The most odd part of the date was how he never stopped staring at me! Not in the cute way either. The kind of staring where he never broke eye contact; even as he took a bite of his food. I didn’t really know what to do with myself as he kept staring. These situations make me want to make a quick get away, but I couldn’t because he would see it!
Finally, the date was coming to a close and he asked me what I was doing for the rest of the night. I panicked and responded, “I’m watching a movie with my mom.” Just as I heard the words come out of my mouth, I thought to myself “WHAT?! That’s what you came up with?” Well, I was not going to watch a movie with my mom, but didn’t know what else to say to make him realize that I was busy. Maybe I should have said something to make him think I was more cool, but that sure didn’t happen. I’ve never been too great at thinking quickly on my feet. Either way, between the non-compatibility, awkward staring and my lame excuses we didn’t plan a second date.
Do you have a bad date story? If so, submit it in the Contact Me box to get featured!
In the technology generation, we all know that the main source of finding dates is by going on an app or online. It has become a mainstream way of meeting other singles in your area. Phrases like, “swipe right, swipe left or power swipe” are all common sayings understood by the entire millennial generation. For those of you who don’t know what that means, here is the break down:
Swipe right: You like the person’s profile (or pictures, let’s be honest here.)
Swipe left: You don’t like the person’s profile
Power swipe: Swiping as fast to the right as possible to see how many matches you can get in the shortest amount of time.
Tinder and Bumble are the most common of these dating apps that millennials use. The main reason is because of convenience and cost. Since it’s an app on your phone, you don’t have to actually go to a computer to message the person or look for new potential partners. The cost is attractive because it’s free!
After a pair has matched on the app, hopefully it will lead to meeting them in person. This is where the real fun begins.
I’ve talked with a few of my friends who have used these apps and the stories that come are sweeter than wine. Sure, there are times when you meet the person for the first time and everything goes smoothly, but more likely than not, everyone has a story where it didn’t go as well.
Let’s check it out.
Ella’s Story: Crash and Burn
This past summer I was on Bumble and I was going to meet this guy for the first time. The plan was to meet at Seven Corners Pub in Minneapolis. I drove there, as I was borrowing my parent’s car for a few months since they were out of town. Anyway, I found a place to park on the street, got out of the car and locked it. As I got to the crosswalk, the green light turned and the white walk sign flashed. I was looking down at my phone as I started walking in the crosswalk. I was texting my best friend about this date I was going on in case I went missing and ended up on the 6:00 news. Then out of nowhere I got hit by a car!
This lady was trying to run a red light, hit me square in the thigh knocking me off balance and I fell onto the hood of the car. Shocked, I look at her through the windshield, adrenaline rushing through my veins. Then this woman does the most unexpected thing. She waves and smiles! Yes, waves at me as I lay on the hood of her car because she hit the pedestrian walking across the road. WTF?! I know if I ever hit someone, I wouldn’t wave at them. What is that? It’s not the friendliest way to say hi to a person. Come on lady. I bet she hits people all the time, just to get a good wave in. I slide off the hood of the car and the lady just drives off. Still a little stunned, I walk into Seven Corners Pub to meet my date. Needless to say, I had a great icebreaker.
The date was only okay. The guy was a med student and nice, but just not my type. Once the date was finished, I had to cross that same dreadful crosswalk again. This time I made sure there were no cars coming who could potentially hit me. Finally, I got to my car to find a ticket under my windshield wiper. Are you kidding me?! Not only did I get hit by a car and have a mediocre date, but also I get a ticket just to top it off. Needless to say, I didn’t see the guy again.
Anna’s Story: Profile Deceit
I finally tried out this Tinder app, just to see what it was about since all of my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who I decided to meet up with. Based on his profile, I gathered that he was 5’ 11”, into sports and is a foodie. We decided to meet at Rojo in West End for happy hour. I got there before he did, so I took a seat at a high top table.
A few minutes later, a guy who looked like the person in the profile pictures came up to me. As I sat on the chair, I had to look down to him as he climbed up on the high chair. I tried to hide the shock on my face because I didn’t want to offend him, but my gosh, he was not 5’ 11”. He was barely 5 feet.
Since this was my first Tinder date and I didn’t exactly know what to do, I thought, “Well, I’ll just get some good food and drinks out of the deal.” After ordering our food, he asked me if I had any pets. I responded that I had just bought a kitten that week. All of a sudden, he tells me to wait a second and he pulls out his phone to show me the wallpaper. It’s a photo of him and this Siamese cat. It didn’t stop there. I then proceeded to listen to about ten stories of this guy’s cat. Again, I tried to hide the shock on my face as he was so into talking about his cat.
Finally, we finished our food and I was able to escape the short cat man. As I climbed in the driver’s seat of my car, I pulled out my phone and deleted the app.
Jen’s Story: First Date or Therapy Session?
I showed up to my second date of the night, a later happy hour, to meet up with a guy I met on Tinder. When I showed up, this dude was huge, like so muscular I thought he could pull a tree straight out of the ground. I go up to say hi and introduce myself and the first thing he says to me is, “I hope my physical appearance doesn’t scare you.” First of all, it did, but I wasn’t going to tell him that and secondly, why would you ever use that as an opening line?
Anyway, we go into the restaurant, order food and the conversation starts flowing. At first it was fine, but then I started noticing the insecure comments he kept saying about himself. Which then lead to him opening up as if I was his therapist. To make matters more interesting, he brings up a story about another girl that “everyone at his work” thinks he should be dating. At this point, I really wanted to leave, but he kept talking, like didn’t even take a breath. I was able to get a word in and ended up telling him that everything was going to be okay and that he would be in a relationship one day. Finally, I was able to escape the chatterbox guy as I eyed down the server to get the bill so we could leave.
As we can see from the stories of my friends, online dating is always interesting, even as it’s becoming the norm for most millennials. Some people have success, but there are always a few good stories of awkward moments in the mix. With all of this swiping left or right on the online dating apps, the stories only continue to grow as strangers meet for the first time in person.
Submit your stories to the Contact Me box to be featured!
Alarm clock beep…beep…beeps us awake. Rolling out of bed, checking social media accounts with one eye closed. Instant validation or disappointment depending on the amount of likes or shares from our post the night before. This generation is ruled by social media and getting validation from number of clicks on either a thumbs up or star icon.
It’s a necessary evil of this world; each one of us plays into its game. Social media, the highlight reel of one’s life. Comparison at its highest magnitude. We dissect one’s Instagram or Facebook photo to determine how she/he got the lighting, background, etc. so perfect to get 1K+ likes as you work to get 25 on one photo.
Yes, the marketer in me believes, pushing yourself to get better at posting and tweeting is not necessarily a bad thing. I believe that a healthy competition to better your business or brand is vital to keep you relevant in the marketplace. The negative flip side is when you start to feel bad about yourself or business due to what others post on social media accounts.
Something to remember is social media only shows people at their best selves. The photo may not detect someone in emotional distress. Well…some great photographers can evoke that emotion from their Instagram posts, but that’s beside the point. As a follower, you may not know the true story of that person’s life. Who knows, they may get executive suites in fancy hotels overlooking the city and still feel alone.
Let’s get real. Do I want more followers on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook? Of course! Who wouldn’t? But there’s something I’ve realized recently.
We should not be defined by a number; whether that number is from a scale, test score or social media, but instead from our character. Character will carry us through more in life than any social media account will.
Sure, you may have over 400K followers, but what about the real live people in your life? How many of those do you have? I bet the people with high profile social media accounts do have accountable people in their lives, don’t get me wrong, but for those who are just the “Average Joe’s” of this world it’s important to remember that the real flesh and blood friends are better than any number of Facebook friends.
For those who are out trying to start businesses or launch websites, we all realize that social media is vital to success. The amount of clicks on your website determines your financial success. True, there are tips and tricks to gain more followers, but what it comes down to most is being your self. Not only being yourself, but being your best self.
By being true to who you are as an artist or business owner and being authentic to who you are will gain you more followers in the long run. Yes it’s really hard to wait in this instantaneous world, but true brands take time to build.
How do you live life in your mid-20’s without having a complicated relationship status? Whether you meet someone out at a bar, for example Uptown Tavern on a Saturday night, or you spend your nights swiping right or left while watching the Bachelor. The relationships we fall into tend to be complicated.
Even if you meet the person offline, we are all too well aware that most of our peers are on some sort of dating app or website. Therefore, the chances of that person dating other people is very high. And if we are really honest, you are the one who is dating around and are on two dating apps.
Of course, that’s not an issue until you’ve been dating the guy for awhile and have dropped the other guys from the line up, deciding you would like to become “exclusive.” That’s when the real problem lies because anxiety pops into your head and you ask yourself, “I don’t think he is dating anyone else, but we really haven’t talked about it. I don’t want him to think I want anything too serious and scare him away, but I do like him and want him to know that I only want to date him. Shit, what if he is dating someone else? I really shouldn’t have let that other guy go. Seriously…stop thinking about this; it’s fine.”
Then you may call or text your girlfriends asking for advice on what they think. Whether if they think the guy is dating anyone else, which typically the response is “No way! When would he be able to have any time to see another girl.” Then you respond, “Yeah, you’re right.” but don’t actually know if you believe yourself.
At this point, my friends, you’ve graduated from the initial flirty dates into the complicated relationship. Once those anxious thoughts creep into the vortex of your mind and you feel like you aren’t acting yourself, that’s when you’ve hit it.
Another way to know you’ve entered into the complicated relationship is when your friends or family ask if you have a boyfriend and you don’t know what to say. Depending on your confidence in the relationship you can answer in a variety of ways:
“No. I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Nope, he’s just a friend right now.”
“Umm…no?”–My favorite response
“I’m dating this one guy, but I’m not sure where it’s going…” –Then she tells you the whole story from the beginning.
Now that you recognize that you’re in the It’s Complicated Facebook Relationship Status, there are a few ways of moving forward.
You can stay in this season of the relationship and go about the dates as you always have been. This may be a good solution to see how the relationship progresses without an official conversation. In time, the relationship will develop as it is meant to and there may be a knowing between you and your partner there isn’t anyone else involved.
You can pretend to be okay with the questions in your mind and hold off having the conversation. This may end in an awkward way depending on if you are out drinking one night and have one too many. Then the thoughts may flood out of your mouth from the liquid courage, which may freak out the person.
You can have a conversation with your partner to officially DTR (define the relationship). This may end up one of two ways, the person tells you that they don’t actually want to continue with you or they could say they haven’t been dating anyone else either and would like to be “exclusive.” This option may be the scariest, but at the same time could be the most freeing because at that point you’ll know where the relationship stands. Therefore, when Grandma asks you if you’re have a boyfriend you can confidently answer.
Without a doubt, most young adults enter into several complicated relationships as we maneuver through our 20’s and 30’s. I think the trick of it all is to become comfortable with the ambiguity that come with relationships. As we become more comfortable with the ambiguity of relationships, we can learn to be more content in whatever complicated relationship we find ourselves in.
Valentine’s Day. A holiday where teens buy each other stuffed bears and chocolate while adults share a romantic night with their significant other. But how did this holiday originate?
Valentine’s Day originated from the Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
In the middle of February, there was a fertility festival called Lupercalia held by the Romans. During this festival, the Romans sacrificed a goat for fertility and a dog for purity. The blood soaked hides of the animals were brushed on the women of the city in thoughts to make them more fertile in the coming year. After the sacrifice ceremony, the young women in the city placed their names in an urn where the city’s bachelors would each choose a name to be paired with for that coming year. Typically, the matches ended in marriage.
In later years, the Christian church decided to hold a St. Valentine’s feast in the middle of February in hopes to “Christianize” the pagan Lupercalia festival. The feast was to celebrate and honor St. Valentine, a martyr who died on February 14th in the third century A.D. There is speculation about the details of St. Valentine’s life. Some believe he was a priest who performed marriages for young couples in secret. Others say he helped Christians escape Roman prisons and before his death, he wrote his lover a letter signed “from your Valentine.”
From the fertility festival to the martyr writing love letters from prison, Valentine’s Day has been deemed the romantic holiday. Whether you get engaged today or exchange cards, flowers and chocolate with your loved one; the Christians and ancient Romans are to thank for this day of love.
In my hunter green yoga pants I got last night from Express’ Black Friday sale…yes my brother and I went to the Mall of America on Thanksgiving for the Black Friday sales. I swore to myself that I’d never succumb myself to Black Friday shopping on Thanksgiving, but when your brother asks you to join him in a shopping adventure you just can’t say “No.”
Enough about last night…so in my new yoga pants I decided to spend the majority of this Black Friday setting up my apartment for Christmas. Once I dragged up the massive box from my basement storage closet, I put the kettle on to make some Yogi tea and lit my aromatherapy candles.
The only way I can truly feel like it’s the holiday season is to decorate with a Christmas movie in the background. Some people jam out to Holiday tunes, but not this girl. I’ve got to have a sappy Holiday movie on. Today’s choice? The Family Stone.
With the water boiling on the stove and candles burning, I began to rearrange my apartment to fit the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It’s funny how you remember things differently than what they truly are. I remembered my tree being fairly big for an apartment. Nope. It stands 4′ tall and not an inch more.
Finally the kettle whistle blew letting me know it was tea time! Pulling the Yogi Tea bag from the pouch, I noticed the saying was “Patience pays.”
Two simple words. Patience pays. This little cup of tea made it seem as if the world slowed down a bit. Stopping to realize that in this Christmas season patience pays. No matter what you are waiting for whether it’s a relationship, job, house, child, etc. sometimes we need to have patience. It’s something we typically do not like; especially in this instant gratification world.
Lighting my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, drinking my Yogi tea and watching the sappy Christmas movie, I realized that this will be one of the last times I get to have moments like this. There will come a day when kids surround my life and demands of a family take my time. In those moments I will remember back to the one I’m having now and wish I could have held onto it. So at this moment I am deciding to live in the present moment; loving the life I’ve been given.